“It”   Leave a comment

“It”

“It” has been coming up a lot in my thoughts, mostly during the most difficult moments in my daily regimen of lymphedema treatment. “Here it is again,” I think, grimly, the first time in the day when I must rise and walk on damaged limbs, further stiffened by hours of immobility. I look wild-eyed around for some alternative but discover, again and again, that there is none. However painful, I must walk to the bathroom. Period. Lots of times, I cry out, “Aargh, aargh, aargh,” etc., like a comic book character. With this keyboard I cannot execute those spirals, stars, etc., non-letters that are intended to convey the fact that these cries of pain are beyond words, way beyond the mild “Ouch” we can use for such things as a paper cut. But, completely on the basis of Buddhist meditation practice, lately, “It” has occasionally meant something different, i.e., “This is It.” I bring to the painful moment the recollection that this is the only “It” I will ever have, the gift that Life, incomprehensible Life, is offering me. This is It. Next moment, this is It. Next moment, another It. Maybe, this time, the visit of a beloved person. Take it or leave it. Albeit sometimes begrudgingly, my decision up to now has been, “Yes! I’ll take it!”

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Posted February 9, 2011 by judybloomgardener in Uncategorized

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